Stop Looking Desperate

Many of us fumble over word choice and delivery when it comes to introducing ourselves to, or conversing with a woman of interest. If you seem to be striking out frequently, you may want to consider changing a few things, like your body language or your choice of conversation. You may think you appear cool and confident, but these things may very well be sending messages that read: YOU’RE DESPERATE.

 

To stop looking desperate and losing a potential candidate for a casual, long-term or serious relationship, here are some tips that can help you master the art of appearing assured -- the opposite of desperate -- in your romantic endeavors.

Approach with confidence

Often, confidence (not arrogance) can be exhibited in the way you introduce yourself -- the way you walk, speak and make eye contact -- and is an easy way to let a woman know you are interested in getting to know her. Appearing too interested may emit signals of eagerness, which ultimately gives the impression that you have very little experience in dealing with the opposite sex.

Sometimes, envisioning yourself interacting with a potential date works well with projecting confidence, and changing your posture, your stance and your footing. If you approach a nice-looking woman, all the while thinking “she is way out of my range, but I will give it a shot,” believe me, it will come out in your conversation. Knowing what you want and building your confidence beforehand can prevent some embarrassing situations and can help you to stop looking desperate.

Before walking over to your woman of interest, close your eyes and take a breath. When you exhale, remember all of your accomplishments. Most importantly, remember the hardest thing you overcame that had the greatest outcome in your life. Absorb the emotion behind your triumph and the confidence you exuded shortly after being rewarded. Then open your eyes and start to make your way toward your dream date using that same emotion and sense of accomplishment to propel you toward introducing yourself with confidence.

More ways to stop looking desperate in front of the ladies…

Don’t self-advertise

By the time you are engaged in a conversation with your woman of choice, you can stop looking desperate by being mindful of how you share information about yourself. Divulging an overabundance of facts, statistics and achievements may appear as if you are soliciting affection from any and all takers. Inundating a woman with all of your star qualities in your initial interaction may backfire, making you come off as trying too hard to impress her or attempting to coax her into liking you. If you have confidence in yourself, the qualities you exude will speak for themselves and you won’t need to expend so much time in areas of self-promotion. This will also allow her the opportunity to express her own life interests and qualities, which will ultimately give you bonus points for being a good listener.

Instead of running down a list of accomplishments or how many times you play golf with the executives at your firm, listen to what she has to say. A woman who is interested in you will guide you into telling her exactly what she needs to know to be impressed. Once the conversation gets rolling, replace the word “I” with “you,” followed by a question mark. A woman is far more impressed with a man who shows interest in her well-being than with a man who tells you how many trophies and degrees he has on his wall. Trust me, the number of cars you drive, houses you own or promotions you have attained will be pulled from you in a matter of time. To stop looking desperate, all you have to do is have a little bit of patience and wait for the opportunity to share.

Don't talk about your past

When seeking a quality relationship, unloading baggage onto the doorstep of a potential love interest is the easiest way to seem too desperate to move on and to get someone to lose interest in you quickly. Even if you have recently ended a relationship and are getting your feet wet in the dating game, do your best to stop looking desperate by refraining from discussing the details of your breakup. Women like to know that you have accepted the end and moved past your pain, and that you can now cultivate a healthy relationship. It might even be a good idea to avoid dating soon after a breakup. Give yourself an opportunity to rid yourself of baggage that can definitely hinder growth and fruitful interaction with someone you like. Exerting energy and sharing details about why your last relationship didn’t work means you aren’t ready for new possibilities.

signs of desperation

Most men get nervous during their initial interaction with a beautiful woman, but with a little bit of confidence and a few vital conversation pointers, these men can stop looking desperate and start picking up.